Found
by MiserableNow
Summary: Damaged people have a way of finding each other. Gale and Madge three years after the revolution has ended meet again after a New Year's Eve party.
1. Chapter 1

_I kind of just published this as soon as I finished it so all the mistakes are definitely mine. Sorry for that! I'm still pretty unsure if this will be continued but it's decent enough to stand alone._

_disclaimer: not my characters, just my plot! _

* * *

Coors beer is probably the best cheap beer there is. It's the only drinkable thing at this party which is the only excuse Madge gives to herself as to why she's on her third can while sulking in a corner people watching.

She hates parties. She actually really just hates any type of social gathering that includes more than two people at a time. They make her feel like nothing has changed and she is still in District 12 desperately trying to stay in strangers good graces. But _everything_ is different.

The revolution that changed the entire world that they lived in ended three years ago and all Madge can do is be miserable. She survived! Her friends, who never stood a chance after they survived the first time around, survived as well and nothing was ever in their favor! The fact that after everything they had been through, they'd managed to find solace within each other hurts Madge in ways she can't describe.

New Years is supposed to be a time to put the last year in retrospect and weather it be good or bad, you leave it behind. You welcome the new year with open arms and bouts of positivity. At least that's the basic idea that her coworker fed her in order to convince her to come to this party. She also promised not to leave her side, so apparently they were both lies.

Madge has had three years to overcome her past and work through her fears. She's had time to put it behind her and start fresh but the fact of the matter is that she simply can't. No matter how hard she tries, Madge succumbs to the darkest corner of her mind that holds all her fears intact and she is back where she started. A recluse. A lonely 20 year old woman that has a tiny apartment in the nicer parts of district two with a cat she found on a chilly night and took home.

If Madge Undersee were anyone else, her reasoning would sound mad, but she's not and in this cold world she lives in, figuratively and literally speaking, she knows why she can't move on. How can she when everyone she ever knew is either dead or assumed her dead and never bothered looking for her? She's stuck in a world where she's a ghost of a girl she once was or a person left behind by those that never made it out.

So as the clock strikes midnight and people abruptly cheer while others get lost in a warm embrace, Madge chugs down her drink in it's entirety and seeks solidarity the only way she knows how. She grabs her coat, swerves through the crowd of people that don't bother to give her a second glance and makes it out the front door as composed as she can be at a time like this. She doesn't feel the brooding stare she's had directed at her _all night_ follow her out. The heart broken expression that is carved in at the realization that she is _alive_. The completely and utter feeling of being lost and then found with just realizing after three hours that yes, that is in fact someone from home and not just another figment of his imagination. Of his nightmares.

Without a crowd and the warmth of the house to suffocate her, she releases the tears she didn't even know she'd been holding in because for so long she promised she wouldn't cry anymore. She had nothing left to give. Everything she'd has was taken from her and there was just no point. She walks loudly and angrily through the cold streets wondering _why she had to be so damaged. Why couldn't she move on?_ So many people had suffered through loses much worst than hers and they'd managed and here she was treating her existence as if it was a curse and _nothingnothingnothing_ made sense and she was just tired.

"Madge."

And maybe she was even more tired than she had previously acknowledged because for so long she wished to hear **that** voice call her name in that exact tone and with that exact sound of longing. But it would never happen and just as quickly as she had stopped in her tracks she decided to trudge on because no one would be able to let Mr. Walker in after his midnight excursions chasing mice in the alley.

"Madge Undersee from District 12. Friends with Katniss Everdeen and Peeta Mellark. Daughter of the Mayor. Buyer of strawberries on Sunday mornings from angry boys who knew nothing better than blaming you for everything. Madge Undersee who I thought to be dead for three years and a couple of months and days and honestly up until a couple of hours ago..please stop walking away from me."

And Gale Hawthorne has to clench his hands into fist to physically restrain himself from grasping her from her shoulders and spinning her around to simply make sure that those _ohsoblue_ eyes belong to the girl he once knew. He stares at her back so intently that he can tell the moment she starts breathing again and then she's turning and he's suddenly the one having difficulties breathing because it is her. And she's crying and looking at him with wide disbelieving eyes and he can't help it anymore because this has to be a dream.

But it isn't and these last three years of feeling lost suddenly dissipate and leave his body the moment she snakes her arms around him and whispers his name into his chest.

And she feels like a new person that isn't so lost. She can finally feel something other than loneliness and the cold that the winter night has brought but most of all she feels the warmth that his body radiates and it's as if her heart had been on pause this whole time because she can finally feel it beat and she's never been happier to have attended an overcrowded party with crappy beer.


	2. Chapter 2

_I'm just going with this. This idea that Gale and Madge didn't have demons to deal with or that only Gale dealt with things always bothered me. Madge's story will always be left unfinished so this is my interpretation. Damaged people always find each other and it's rarely easy! Thanks for reading and giving this a try guys:)_

* * *

They stand in the middle of the snow covered street for much too long but neither wants to make the first move to break the embrace. They're both so terrified that if they let go, then this moment of peace and clarity will all be a lie and they're just so scared.

They'd lost each other once to the fire that destroyed their home and the idea that it could happen again is heart breaking. Madge digs her fingers in his back a little deeper and Gale makes sure to breathe her in slowly and god she still smells like vanilla and this distinct smell that comes with being human that Madge makes her own. She smells sweet. _She's alive._ Alas he pulls away first still holding onto her shoulders and she keeps her hands at his side afraid that he'll float away without her.

"Happy New Years Madge," he whispers so so softly, afraid that anything else will break the trance that they both seem to be stuck in. He has so many things he wants to say and so many questions he wants to ask, but she seems so fragile and so afraid and just broken that it hurts his heart to think of hurting her anymore.

"Happy New Years Gale," Madge whispers back just as softly and she doesn't know if they're whispering into the dark of night for his sake or for hers but she is _sososo_ grateful because she is absolutely without a doubt terrified that this is all a lie. After all this time she had feared and questioned every single encounter she ever had with Gale Hawthorne because if he ever loved her the way he whispered to her night after night three years ago then he surely would have looked for her right? She must have been a topic of conversation for him and Katniss at some point and did he really not care about her existence after the war ended that he let her lead her life alone? And it's these questions that break Madge out of her trance and they confuse her and she just needs to get away before he has a chance to hurt her again because how much more broken can she get before she gives up entirely? She pulls her arms away and hugs herself as if this will keep the pain at bay.

Gale loves her. He knows for a fact that he does. Three years ago when she kept his bed warm and his thoughts on the games away he wasn't so sure and he hated himself everyday because he thought he had lied to her when he spoke those three words to her. When the survivors reached district 13 and Madge wasn't one of them Gale numbed his pain away by getting involved in the revolution. The Capitol had taken his father first and then his best friend and lastly the woman he loved and there was only one way to get even. He didn't mourn her death until the very next the war was over and the good guys had won for a chance. He cried like he'd never cried before, not even for his dad, because he had left her. She trusted him and he'd left her and he loved her, truly truly loved her. The last three years had proven that nothing or no one would replace her in his heart and even though he suffered and mourned her death he always held some hope and it's like his Ma always said, life has a twisted way of bringing people together.

"I should go."

He barely hears her whisper but it's enough to send a panic straight to his core. He just found her and now she wants to leave and that's not ok.

"Please don't. I've..I've missed you so much Madge. I just got you back. Please. Please don't leave again."

And maybe it's for her own selfish reasons that Madge agrees. But later while mulling it over she'll admit that the desperation in his voice is what did her in because in her heart of hearts she wouldn't have been able to leave him. Not now that he was here and she wasn't alone and everything with him was always hard and difficult but in her rare moments of lucidity her mother would always whisper that good things come to those who wait.  
And if three years of waiting after the war and the three years Madge waited for him to notice her at seventeen wasn't a decent amount of waiting, well she didn't want to know what was.


	3. Chapter 3

_I watched Catching Fire again last night and I'm not even entirely sure how it inspired me but I seriously can not let this story go. sorry! Haha I'm pretty sure this is entirely too cheesy but ehh we'll live! Enjoy! oh and thanks for the reviews to the people that have taken the time:) it means a lot especially because this was experimental. I really appreciate you guys reading this mess and giving it a shot so thank you:)_

* * *

They fall asleep on her couch at four in the morning after hours of talking. He holds her hand the whole time wondering how he let her go in the first place. He asks her endless questions which she answers truthfully and as soon as the answers are out she feels nothing but relief. Relief because no one has bothered asking her about her life since the war ended.

He cries when he admits to not looking for her. He cries so hard that it triggers her tears and soon they're a blubbering mess of tears and apologies from him and acceptance from her. He knows that nothing will make up for the three years he left her alone, but swears to make it up if she lets him. He'll probably try even if she doesn't because he is that kind of person and dammit he just loves her and he can breathe again and it feels so good to hold her after so long.

"I'm so sorry Madge. I'm so so sorry. If I had even the slightest idea that you had made it out I swear I would have looked through every dark corner of this world to find you."

He has no shame in the way he cries as he wraps her up once more. It's not so much of a waterfall of tears just streams here and there but it's tears he hasn't shed since the last time he cried. And he can't help but embrace these tears because these are of joy and fullness and of so many other good things he can associate with her now that she's here. They're tears of apology and promises of a better future. It won't be easy but it sure as hell won't be as hard as it was even a couple of hours ago when they both thought they were alone in this.

He let's her sob into his chest as he whispers his apologies. She listens to all of it and it makes her cry even harder because this, this feeling of being _wanted_, of being_ important _to someone, is all she's wanted for so so long. Even before the revolution. If she thinks about it hard enough she knows that's what led her to the meadow when she was seventeen and needed to someone to talk to. Someone to sit with her and accept her silence. The fact that both times she needed some saving it was Gale Hawthorne of all people to do it makes her sob harder.

At some point he stops with his words and her tears finally see an end. They don't let go of each other and even though both their throats are rough and dry from all the crying and talking, neither makes a move to get some water or tea or whatever you drink in the wee morning hours. She knows that they won't be able to get over the last three years apart anytime soon. It's been too long. She doesn't even know if he's seeing anyone or god even worst, if he's married. What if his heart isn't hers to claim anymore? _What if it never was?_ She can't bare to think that, so she hugs him tighter and wills herself to accept that if this is all she can have, she'll stay as close as she possibly can. If she has until the light of day to be in his arms one last time, she'll save the regrets and self deprecation for later, when she's once again alone and unwanted.

He feels the shift in her mood right before she falls asleep on his chest. He doesn't remember how they ended up laying down. One minute they were sitting and hugging and now she's on top and the pressure she provides on his chest is oh so welcoming. It's the good kind of pressure. He knows her. If all that time with her when they were teenagers taught him anything, it's that Madge will never voice her troubles out loud because of fear of burdening someone else with her problems. She hugs him tighter and if he knows her as well as he knows he does, she bracing herself to let him go. There's frown on her face and it's so foreign to him. She trembles and shakes and it's not at all how he remembers her and it pains him because she's dealt with this all alone and Gale knows how demons feel in the dark of night when all he wants is sleep for once.

"I'm not letting you go Madge, not again. I love you. I can't do this without you anymore." He says it for her even though he knows she's asleep but part of him knows that it's for him too. He needs her. He's existed the last three years and it was such a meek hopeless existence. His life in District 12 was based off survival and he thought once the revolution ended things would be better but he couldn't be happy without her. In all honesty he hardly tried. He continued to work hard for his family and a better tomorrow and kept to himself as much as possible. The less people in your life, the less room there is for the pain of losing them. He'd had enough of that for a lifetime. But with Madge in his arms and the possibility of a happier tomorrow in his grasp, Gale feels something he's never truly ever felt.

_Hope_.


	4. Chapter 4

_This gets disturbingly cheesy towards the end. At least by my standards . Sorry haha_

* * *

"So what's the plan today? We can go get some dinner and maybe a movie? Or we can go for a walk or..not? " Gale trails off once he gets a look at her face. She seems so withdrawn. It's been about a month since they reunited and they've spent nearly every day together. They both still work and they still live in their respective apartments but more often than not, you can find Gale in her apartment lounging around in her living room.

He's trying so hard, god knows he is! But Madge is so hard to get through to now. Sometimes she let's herself relax and he catches a glimpse of the girl he used to know but the next day it's like nothing has changed. One step forward, three steps back. He's frustrated. Gale has never been known for being exactly even tempered but he can't give up now. He knows he has to stick it out because she is worth it, but he just needs a little insight on what he can do to make her better. He needs to know that she wants this as much as he does. He wouldn't be able to bare it if she didn't want him anymore.

After the first morning that they woke up together on the couch he thought they would sort of figure it out together day by day. After they got the whole '_are you married?_' question out of the way he assumed that they would fall back into what they had left behind in District 12. Not necessarily _being_ _together_, just, well being together! He tried hugging her before he left for the day and she literally stiffened in his arms. He tried not taking it personally considering everything she had told him, but damn it hurt. He's avoided physical contact as much as he can since then. He still slips up and pulls her towards him when they sit on her couch or before he leaves for the night, but that's as close as they've gotten. He doesn't want to scare her by moving to fast but considering she hardly says anything in regards to where this is going, he doesn't know what lines he can or can't cross. He's confused and he hates that feeling. He finds himself biting his tongue and clenching his hands into fist so often and it's driving him up a wall!

Madge sees the deflation of his chest like she has seen so often week after week since they reunited. She doesn't mean to shoot down his ideas or hurt him in the process. She wants to get better. It's just so much easier said than done. She feels herself pulling away and try as she might, she can't fight it. She wants Gale to remember her and know that she's fighting to get better and fighting for him and dammit sometimes she just wants him to lose his temper and yell at her because that would make her feel like old times and she'd yell back and things might be ok after that. But she knows he won't. And she knows she would most likely cry and he'd apologize and they'd be a mess again. She's made of glass. Shes so so pitiful. She hates it. So for the first time in weeks she decides to stop being afraid. If only for a while.

"Umm well how about we eat dinner here since I started it already and then we can go for a walk? The news said the snow is letting up and it should be a clear night.."

And even though Gale sees her questioning herself rather than him, he feels the spark in him ignite at the idea of her trying. It's the biggest effort she's made in weeks and he won't push her for anything else because baby steps will work. He's sure of it.

* * *

He helps her put on her coat after they finish dinner and as they walk out the door of her apartment she feels his hand rest on her lower back. She tries not to tense and remembers how much she used to crave his touch back home. How much his hugs would calm her when she'd get anxious over her fathers involvement in the revolution. Sometimes she thinks it's the only thing that kept her sane and maybe since she was taken and she didn't have him she quickly lost her mind. But no, after years of talking to a therapist she knows she's not crazy. She's been tested.

"You're right. The night is nice. It's not even that chilly!" Gale says with a small smile she hasn't seen in a while. He usually reserves that for when things seem to fall in order with them. She likes making him smile that way.

"Speak for yourself grizzly. For us mere mortals it's still pretty chilly. My fingers are freezing even with gloves on!" She says with a sincere laugh because the look on his face after she called him a grizzly is priceless.

He recovers quickly and without hesitation takes her hand in his and begins walking like a man with a purpose. Madge feels the butterflies in her stomach flutter and lord help her rapidly beating heart but she thinks she sees him blush as he looks at her sideways. She's about to say something witty when she hears the cackle of someone near by and quicker than she can turn around she hears a voice call out.

"Well if it isn't my favorite brooding soldier! How've you been Hawthorne? Hiding under a rock lately have we?"

Johanna Mason and her brazen personality is standing before them with the widest grin known to human kind. Now Madge knows all the things that the victor did to help out her friends. She knows the torture she endured. She was locked away along with her. Johanna just happened to be rescued by the right people at the right time. Regardless, Madge has an underlying respect for her and gratitude for the things she did to help. However, she also knows what Gale has told her. How Johanna was one of the few people that helped him grieve. That understood his pain for her and put up with him in his darkest times. And even though he told her nothing happened, Madge can see it clear in Johanna's eyes that it wasn't for lack of trying. The look she is giving Gale is ravenous in the most animalistic way. She wants this man that is utterly clueless. She hasn't even spared Madge a glance. She tightens her hold on his hand.

"Well if it isn't my favorite ax murderer. How are you Mason? What brings you around these parts?"

"Oh you know just going around seeing what all the buzz is about since you so kindly left us all high and dry in 13. Thanks for that by the way. A heads up would have been nice."

Gale has the dignity to look sheepish. Madge sees a whole different kind of blush spread through his cheeks and she can't help but feel_ jealous?_ She doesn't even understand why. She knows Gale. She knows why he feels that way. He hates feeling like he abandoned people.

"You know why I had to leave Jo. I'm sorry I didn't tell you but I had to get out of there. It was suffocating."

If it's at all possible, Johanna actually looks crestfallen. Or something similar to that but she recovers quickly. She was never one to show weakness which says a lot about how she feels about Gale. It's odd.

"Yeah well now we're both here so the least you can do is buy me a drink Hawthorne. What do ya say?"

Gale gives her the tiniest smile before pulling Madge from behind his back. Madge gets lost in his eyes for a second because as broken as she is, the way he's staring at her tells her how much he loves her. How much he adores her. How utterly happy he is that she's alive and currently standing next to him holding his hand. It's as he stares at her that he introduces her.

"I've been pretty rude. I'm sorry Jo but this here is my Madge." And the smile he gives her seems to radiate sunshine in the cold of this winter night because it is just that bright. Madge feels her heart skip a beat at the simple but endearing way he calls her **_his_**. She is.  
They're so lost within each other that they barely catch what Johanna is saying.

"Well well well so she came back from the dead. Isn't that great? Nice to meet you Undersee. See you fixed our broken little soldier here. Good for you."

And Madge knows that the sneer on her face is hiding the hurt but Gale sure ass hell doesn't. He grips her hand tighter and gives Johanna the coldest glare he can possibly muster after showing so much affection a couple seconds ago.

"That's unnecessary Mason. You know what she means to me. When you get your head out of your ass and decide to be a decent human being look me up."

Gale doesn't bother waiting for her response or possible apology. He turns and pulls Madge next to him and throws an arm over her shoulders. Johanna helped him. She saw the pain he went through. He confided in her and told her how badly losing Madge affected him. Hell she saw. He's not an idiot. He knows the looks she used to give him weren't innocent but for fucks sake he was grieving the love of his life. He didn't have time to get involved and he didn't want to grief by numbing his pain and getting into bed with people. He wanted to suffer. He didn't want a warm body and he hadn't had one for the last three years. He had promised himself Madge would be his last and she had been. No one would replace her and so he ignored all of Johanna's hints at it. But this, snapping at Madge and making unnecessary comments like that was where he drew the line. He wasn't going to lose her again

They walk in silence back to her place. Him too lost in thought of what Madge might say or how she'll physically react and her to afraid to say the wrong thing. It's not necessarily uncomfortable considering they like the silence. Once they reach the outside steps of her apartment and he drops his arm ready to let her wish him a goodnight, Madge realizes she's not ready for him to go tonight. She's not necessarily sure why she invites him to stay the night honestly. It could either be the public handholding or the unconditional love he let her see or the fact that she could have lost him to someone else and yet he continued to love her and be faithful to that love. Regardless, that night as she lays with her head on his chest with his arm wrapped around her back she realizes that fighting this feeling was a losing battle.


End file.
